Sunday, September 4, 2011

Shark Night 3D

Shark Night 3D
Directed By: David R. Ellis
Written By: Will Hayes and Jesse Studenberg

A weekend at a lake house in the Louisiana gulf turns into a nightmare for seven vacationers as they are subjected to fresh-water shark attacks

There weren’t even any tits. That enough should sum up this movie. It was not great, good, or even okay. It was sub par. When I go to see a movie like this I expect a lot of sex, drugs, and gore but all I got was disappointment. I guess I should have expected this since this film is rated PG-13. 

A bunch of college students go to a lake house to celebrate one of them getting a B in his class (Yes, celebrating a B). Then when they get there, they don’t get drunk or get laid, and just deal with these sharks that happen to find themselves in the lake. We learn the motive of the sharks being in the lake but we never find out how they get the sharks in the lake. SO, instead of the blood fest I thought i was going to get it ended up being a connect the dots horror film made for young teens. 

Since this film was not a blood fest, then it should be really suspenseful and have great kill shots. It is a shame that only one kill shot was worth my money where a shark jumps up and picks off, I won’t say, from a jet ski. Besides that none of the other kills were worth seeing. As for the suspense, there was none. I only felt pity, pity for the characters in this film for their stupidity. The only character that was decently written was the black character played by Sinqua Walls. They made it seem like his character would be killed off first in a very stereotypical way but he ended up being the most badass character. 

With dialogue that is laughable, gore that is limited, and boobs that are non-existent this is a film to pass. You will just have to wait for Piranha 3DD to get your fill of gore and nudity. 

Rating: 3/10

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