Friday, September 23, 2011


Directed by: John Singleton
Written by: Shawn Christensen

A thriller centered on a young man who sets out to uncover the truth about his life after finding his baby photo on a missing persons website.

If the Oscars had a category for worst film of the year, Abduction would take home the cake. It took way to long to get into the story, the dialogue was laughable (but that might be because they were coming out of Taylor Lautner’s mouth), and I thought its saving grace might have been the action/fight scenes but they were boring and scarce. 

I know you al probably know this, and sorry Twilight fans, but Taylor Lautner sucks at acting. I couldn’t tell if he was happy, scared, surprised, or any other emotion for that matter because in every scene he gave the same fucking look to the camera. He played a high schooler who finds out that the people he thought were his parents were actually CIA agents protecting him from danger. He gets chased around the northeast, escaping the clutches and beating up highly trained special agents of the CIA. Even while evading killers on a train, he finds time to have a makeout session with his extremely attractive co-star, Lily Collins. She might have been the only bright spot in this film. Her looks I mean. Because her acting wasn’t anything special either. 

I knew this film was going to be awful going into because Taylor Lautner sucks a big one but I thought at least the action would be decent. But I was proved wrong. When you think the final fight scene will partake at the Pirates game, it ends and you realize that there wasn’t actually a fight. Taylor Lautner was chased around. Not only were his acrobatics unrealistic, but the movie portrayed the Pirates winning a baseball game which might be even more laughable. 

Watching this film was like having sand rubbed in your eyes for an hour and forty minutes, unpleasant. I really hope this movie does not bring in big money because that will only encourage studios to hire Taylor Lautner again. Apparently he is the only profitable actor under the age of 20. Taylor Lautner needs to be destroyed and we should all boycott his movies. Sorry Abduction, but you sucked!

Rating: 1/10 

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