Friday, July 1, 2011

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon
Directed by: Michael Bay
Written by: Ehren Kruger

When the Autobots learn that a long-lost Cybertronian spacecraft is being hidden on the moon, they must fight to keep it's secrets from falling into the hands of the Decepticons, who want to use it's power to enslave mankind.

Dear Michael Bay,

That movie needed more explosions and product placement and less story structure and character development!


I have not been an avid Transformers fan since the franchise began. I just try an go into these movies knowing that Michael Bay likes to make things go BOOM! After the horrific script of Transformers 2, there was nowhere to go but up. Transformers 3 script was better but that's like saying a second degree burn is better than a third degree burn, they both still suck. But if you are a Transformers fan than this movie is for you. Michael Bay demolished a city like it never has been done before and worth checking out.

The action was awesome, I mean really awesome, especially with my $17 3-D glasses. Once the Decepticons started destroying Chicago, things got highly entertaining. Things blow up here and then there and then Witwicky is thrown down the side of a building and I'll leave you on the edge of your seat for that part on. He survives, sorry for spoiling it. Either way there could have been less explosions and product placement and more character development and story structure. I need to re-write that letter above, huh. 

So now let's talk about the chick who replaced Megan Fox, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley. She was no worse than Megan Fox but she was no better either. Michael Bay knows how to pick his eye candy and picking was ripe. Nothing better than a hot chick looking out in space with explosions going on all around her. I still don't know why Bay would pick a non actor to replace Fox but Rosie did fine. For somebody who has never acted before to do the same as somebody who is a trained actor is impressive, I guess. Other notable performances come from Ken Jeong and Alan Tudyk. Both played hilarious roles in what felt like a semi comedy. 

I will now give you steps to enjoy this movie.
Step 1: Sit Down
Step 2: Dumb your brain down
Step 3: Laugh for the first half of the film
Step 4: Let your mind fry from the explosions int he second half
Step 5: When you leave the theater don't be a film major because you will than analyze every little last fucking thing and end up hating the movie.

Good luck fellow movie goers. Until next time!

Normal Person Rating:  7/10
Film Major Rating: 5/10

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